no but I think my school got pranked... there was a real legit looking poster that said free pizza from 12-3.

   

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

these past few posts have been a little depressing...

so without further ado heres the MCGANGBANG!!!

This disgustingly delicious sandwich owned my life today.

What do I do with this textbook histrionic...

"Histrionic females are skilled at exaggerating their needs to desired males while masking their true promiscuous nature. They often seek to control their partner through emotional manipulation. Histrionic females manipulate others to gain nurturance whereas sociopathic males manipulate others for material gain."-.http://www.ulm.edu/~palmer/AntisocialandHistrionicPersonalityDisorders.htm

This is so messed up. It's scary to think that her whole "personality" is actually a conglomerate of  the signs and symptoms of a disorder.

I cant believe I fell in love with a lie...

ahh my entry was murdered. and I'm too lazy to rewrite it. so basically while I was waiting for my photography class to start I was doing a little wikipedia session on psychological disorders only to come across one that really impacted me...

Histrionic personality disorder

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood.

The essential feature of histrionic personality disorder is an excessive pattern of emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others

The symptoms include:

• Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.
• Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.
• Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.
• Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.
• Excessive concern with physical appearance.
• A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).
• Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.
• Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear shallow to others.
• Opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with details.
• Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.
• Making rash decisions.
• Threatening or attempting suicide

As I read this I realized that this described my ex girlfriend exactly...
Which in a way is a relief because After doing more research I came across this...

Every person is different, but persons who truly have histrionic PD tend to seek attention, especially from the opposite sex, but they tend to have real issues with intimacy and closeness. That is, they may elicit attention but they essentially "freak out" when the person gets too close. I call them "runaway bunnies" because they tend to run away hoping that someone will chase after them and want them. Your girlfriend probably likes to have men show her attention because it gives her that thrill of being wanted. Her biggest fear may be not being noticed or overlooked and not loved. So, you have yourself an interesting dilemma. You want her to be close to you and you find her very sexually interesting. As do many men...I'm sure. Then when she has your attention, she runs away to the bar or somewhere else to get more attention. She is a runaway bunny. You aren't going to be able to keep her in a cage my friend. If you are going to make this relationship work, she has to be willing to confront the idea of "not being noticed." That will be very hard for her to handle. She will see you as the bad guy who is stopping her from getting her needs met.

-JR, M.A.
Clinical Psychology Expert

And then it hit me, all this time I was beating myself up because I thought the reason that she just left was because I had done something wrong. Clearly she was just exhibiting the effects of this personality disorder.

I feel a huge weight off my chest, and now I think I finally have the closure i need to burn some bridges.

Of all the things someone could ever ask for...

Scarlet lace in her hair draws me near and...
I hoped she would replace the doll
with all the memories lurking in tranquil dreams
my sleep would betray me
I'd paint the sky with all the lies
and quickly run out of canvas...
This tragic fire burned the building
We'd make it better with wooden boards and band aids
This looming structure would soon be forgotten
a beautiful arsonist,
my severed phantom limb
gone... yet lingering
my photographs corrupted
the malice behind that endearing smile, not present
love me with your pathetic smile
it's all you've ever known
A touch of class  conceals your facade
I loved your mask
These ridiculous definitions of words that expressed my adoration
I'd write you letters marked "return to sender"
your smile and laughter echoed your flawless imperfections
your eyes...
If I could gaze into them everyday no longer would I need these sunsets.
A fist clenched
the fragile piece of lace burns in the wind
Stockholm Syndrome
and the victim fell in love with the captor.

of all the things I could ever ask for

These lucid dreams and sunsets I'd request..
.

Crossing boundaries is what makes us human.

"My mistake for carving,
my name inside your head.
you're the only person,
the only one I regret."

A feeling like lead on my shoulders
this horrible feeling that some argue is suggested by the mind and others: Biology
Defective mute unwilling to change
A melodramatic play with static roles and no dynamics
Yet... the other part of me yearns for an alternate reality
I'd step into your inverted world where perfection is nonexistent
I never asked for you to bestow me with this fate
a king... a god... a fool...
jesters in the court of sanity
who's plea will be heard?
when you're lying on the bathroom floor,
suspended from a rope embracing your collar,
or sprawled on a bed with an empty bottle
The human structure... an amazing feat
these mechanisms for survival ingrained by evolution
and yet we dismantle these meticulous defenses
as marionettes do cut their strings
could we put together these faulty mannequins?
the mannequins
shes the inanimate object kept in the attic
this defective box is overflowing
the soft entangled material spilling forth
she's assembling herself
a silhouetted form gazing from the window
and "the treasures you keep find ways to escape"
malignant eyes reflecting a burning sky
with lips capable of seducing blind eyes.
and yet from all these convoluted sentiments
an imperfect mind manufactures this construed reality
I've heard "the mind plays tricks on us "
I never thought it would go this far...
A Narcissistic statue yearning for admiration
for the mind and heart are at constant battle
when compromise is reached
the mind creates the hearts gift
and that is the greatest deception.

I saw her waiting in the terrace

bloodshot eyes screaming for attention

never felt so intoxicated by imperfection

a flawed lifeless body stirring in the box

I took her eyes and immortalized her in the frame

The wind tore at her with malicious intention

I tasted her nape in a memory I meant to blurr

A voice resonating in the quiet corridors of my unconscious

Delving and reveling in a time where I no longer belonged

Despair... she was the hanging corpse in my attic

the smell so nauseating I inhaled her scent

Floral fragrance encapsulated my senses

I saw the box

the eyes still decapitate my hope

Imperfection yields imperfection

this beautiful burden I entomb

yet... her murderous gaze looms

I wonder what the world would be like without the internet...

I'm waking up tommorow...