12:52 outside in the quiet the rain crashes on the windowsills the constant low hum of the air conditioner in the background. My body feels warm yet inside the cool air seems to avoid my skin . I awoke with an uncomfortable heat today wrapped in a blanket with the a/c on. I feel random today; i miss myself and the ability of being able to trust so called friends who are never there. Sometimes I think I'm to trusting of people and sometimes people think im a total jerk because I don't really open up to them or try to become their friends. It's not my fault ill tell myself...
Whatever happened to me before has somehow manifested itself in a coarse hard shell around me.
that's ridiculous and i know it... circumstances and situations don't define who we are.
I guess i do act like a jerk... ill be the first to admit that. and yes there are only a handful of people I can trust and truly call my friends but i love my few true friends and for them i would do anything.
"and if we go down we go down together"
I hate the fact that at this age some people are still creating fake drama and acting immaturely, maybe they just miss high school too much.
now im broke as all hell. but still it was worth it 
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