March 25, 2009

  • Realizations change lives

    ahh my entry was murdered. and I'm too lazy to rewrite it. so basically while I was waiting for my photography class to start I was doing a little wikipedia session on psychological disorders only to come across one that really impacted me...

    Histrionic personality disorder

    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood.

    The essential feature of histrionic personality disorder is an excessive pattern of emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others

    The symptoms include:

    • Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.
    • Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.
    • Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.
    • Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.
    • Excessive concern with physical appearance.
    • A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).
    • Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.
    • Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear shallow to others.
    • Opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with details.
    • Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.
    • Making rash decisions.
    • Threatening or attempting suicide

    As I read this I realized that this described my ex girlfriend exactly...
    Which in a way is a relief because After doing more research I came across this...

    Every person is different, but persons who truly have histrionic PD tend to seek attention, especially from the opposite sex, but they tend to have real issues with intimacy and closeness. That is, they may elicit attention but they essentially "freak out" when the person gets too close. I call them "runaway bunnies" because they tend to run away hoping that someone will chase after them and want them. Your girlfriend probably likes to have men show her attention because it gives her that thrill of being wanted. Her biggest fear may be not being noticed or overlooked and not loved. So, you have yourself an interesting dilemma. You want her to be close to you and you find her very sexually interesting. As do many men...I'm sure. Then when she has your attention, she runs away to the bar or somewhere else to get more attention. She is a runaway bunny. You aren't going to be able to keep her in a cage my friend. If you are going to make this relationship work, she has to be willing to confront the idea of "not being noticed." That will be very hard for her to handle. She will see you as the bad guy who is stopping her from getting her needs met.

    -JR, M.A.
    Clinical Psychology Expert

    And then it hit me, all this time I was beating myself up because I thought the reason that she just left was because I had done something wrong. Clearly she was just exhibiting the effects of this personality disorder.

    I feel a huge weight off my chest, and now I think I finally have the closure i need to burn some bridges.