epic song...

Park-Gasoline kisses for everyone

I think I'd be lying
if I said I don't enjoy this.
waking up soaked in sweat
wondering who you're laying with.
the sinking center in me
dips to reach that perfect place
where we've all been trapped before,
caught living in the life you missed...

the reason, had to leave,
held your breath and couldn't see.
missed the reason, had to leave,
held your breath and couldn't see.

I hear songs of this cancer coming on.
I love the sound of your voice breaking off,
so I sing along until you're gone
and out of the canvas we paint this song

I think I'd be lying
if I said I didn't miss this.
slipping off the edge of the bed,
I know I could kiss you better than that.
one more try, one more goodnight.
don't pull away so fast.
10 more seconds is all I ask.

you missed the reason, had to leave,
held your breath and couldn't see.
missed the reason, had to leave,
held your breath and couldn't see.

I hear songs of this cancer coming on.
I love the sound of your voice breaking off,
so I sing along until your gone
and out of the canvas we paint this song

one more try, one more goodnight.
one more try, one more goodnight.
so bad, this feeling never catches up
burnt red, are the arms
of a sunburned boy in love.
I know what you're all about now,
I know where the engine runs out.
I know what you're all about now,
I know where the engine runs out.

so I sing along until your gone,
sing along until your gone.

you're busy fucking everyone [x4]

yo so I got a new mohawk.xD

[" you don't love you anymore cast your demons aside"]

     Hot Damn! I haven't blogged in a minute. So things have been pretty chill yet kinda crazy though. So far today I got two voicemails bitching me out for not answering my phone... It's weird though because I'm not attached to my phone like some people I know: so sometimes i forget it in my room or forget to take it off silent mode. Hence why these females are bitching; ok I can understand one of them, my best friend Lana, we've known each other for like 4 or 5 years but she didn't get nearly as mad as the other girl Alejandra aka ALE/Zombie We met a couple of months ago and she called me a jerk, a stupid fuck, an asshole, a menso(idiot) in spanish/ Ok granted I missed her calls yesterday too but seriously no need to get that mad at me, we are just friends its not like were going out or anything and it's not on purpose I just forget because my phone isn't an extension of my body. Anyways I hate my job to bits and pieces and I seriously need to get out of there ASAP because it's not going to do me any good working there in that shitty environment.My next thing is working in retail because Food Service sucks so much especially with an evil Boss bitch like mine. I hope I get a job at that one Target and even though I''ve heard horror stories about retail I still think that nothing beats my crappy job. My friend Jorge who got me the job at the nursing home is totally being fucked over by the new cook who's a total dick and a kiss ass. It's caused him to want to quit and he's already got another job lined up. It's going to suck working there without my bud but I can't quit until I get another job because I need to pay the insurance on my car. Plus finding a job might take a while. I wish I had connections or got rich out of nowhere.

Poison The Well continues to amaze me... Can't wait to see them and 9 other hardcore bands in August. So Stoked!!! Today was eh I chilled with Jorge and his girl we went to see this movie called the proposal it was kinda lame but funny. And last week we went to go see Public Enemies, that movie was soo good, Johnny Depp is a fucken gangster!! I truly respect him as an actor despite all these lame girls obsessing over his looks.

My day off finally and quite possibly the only day off this whole week.

Everybody leaves...

//so whats the point? \

My defenses have been breached

the point is to love and hate and die alone.

the cage never looked  so good
the walls were better up
but noone gives a shit.

Time for a change.

It's funny how we meet random people and we carefully select or sometimes they select us to be friends. It's bizarre if you really look at the way people go about this meticulous procedure. What exactly is this procedure? It's difficult for me to describe this phenomenon other than the "it just happens naturally." Aside from the fact that sharing your cookies with somebody is the best way to make a buddy, what are the defining characteristics or traits that either separates us into acquaintances, friends, or lovers? It's also interesting to note how one person can either make your life fulfilling, keep you in a trapped state of self loathing, set your life into disarray or perhaps that person can actually help you realize your potential. So do people naturally,at first, select "friends" that they believe will benefit them in some way? Or, is this just an unconscious decision based purely on emotion? Are we naturally that selfish? I know friendships are further strengthened by mutual gains. "I help you and in turn you'll help me when I need it." I recently encountered someone who is extremely self-absorbed. It all became apparent to me when she said those few words "It's not up to you guys... it's whenever I want to talk." That for me just said cancel __________ as a potential friend. But does that make me selfish as well? Maybe the next time the opportunity arises ill offer her my cookies and if she shares her milk I'll know...

P.S.
Are there people who say "hmnn... this person seems like he/she would be a good friend now I will deploy my friend making strategies."

Also on a side note I see a lot of guys who end up in the "friend zone" unfortunately for them this is not a give and take relationship- more like a give give. I personally don't consider this a friendship.In this situation the guy is like a chair he has to support all her emotional weight and although he has legs he can't move. And then there are guys and girls who end up being the only person invested in a relationship. Perhaps this occurs because they dive right into a relationship without having first learned to be friends and the whole give and take relationship is never learned.

Wind-Up Heart

Playing with the clock she keeps in the box
I've waited to reach for
rusted gates
the handle on life is slipping like these summer nights
your voice intoxicates me
and a fast hand makes me wonder
this queen of hearts
shatters my hand
where's your dignity??
Never caring for your little font
squeezed together
indecipherable words seep into this device
your venom is so alluring
contaminate this existence
teach me to palpate your abstract obsession
I loathe you
my own personal hang up
I'd efface you If I knew how
2 cent smiles and 20 dollar kisses
your a doll
I wish you didn't blink so much
this view is awe inspiring
yet I'm livid and torn apart
waiting for the anticlimatic hero to die
In a scene that never ends
Walking away from this body
so warm yet elusive
why do you stray?
hopeless wanderer looking for a place to lay.
disgust and obsession
a girl equates a backseat a starry night and a lookout cliff with happiness
intangible doll
If I only tore the plastic away
If only you let me....
metal butterfly out of reach
Where's your pulse...?