May 8, 2008

  •                  I think I need to clear something up, In my last entry I wrote about a couple of people who were influencing me negatively... these were people who I thought of as "friends." It didn't take me long to figure out that if that were true the definition would have to be changed in every dictionary. These were people who are "enablers" let me explain. In Psychology an enabler is someone who benefits from another person being in a "sick role" (for example someone who is depressed may have an enabler / "friend" who tries to comfort them. If the enabler sees that the depressed person is starting to feel better and getting rid of his/her depression, the enabler will sabotage treatment, this person does not want to lose their job as an enabler. Well why would this person be so afraid of losing their job as an enabler you ask, it's simple the enabler gains self-esteem from "helping the person." That sounds like it's all fine and dandy but the truth is they are not helping and in fact are promoting the "sickness", which in this example was depression. The way it works is they help you just enough to make you feel ok about yourself but they limit this in order to keep you in the sick role.

    A word of advice: The sooner you realize that those people who might be acquaintances or "friends" are not really out to help you but to use you to help feel better about themselves drop them because a friendship shouldn't be about holding each other back. I'm not saying all your friends are out to get you but if you strongly feel that that person is making you feel negativity toward yourself then you should really think about why that person is even in your life.

    Unhealthy relationships that's pretty much all I've ever known, so I guess it was easy to fall back into my old ways. I've learned a lot since then and I'm going to try to make new friendships/relationships that aren't based on competitions and negative thoughts or behaviors.

    With that being said If I haven't really been talking to you it's because I've been super busy with finals and school
    and it doesn't necessarily mean that I dropped you as a friend.