Month: September 2006

  • "As Venus leaves your sign today, you may feel as if you have lost a friend."

                           Indeed. Man I like the art class I'm in, art and music are my favorite classes. Yesterday I left school early to go take senior pictures downtown because today was the last day  they could enter them in the yearbook. Procrastination, man I could have done this during the summer but I waited until the last minute.Senior events and shit are coming up so I'll see about that.

     

    SENIOR EVENTS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN '07:
    Senior Holiday Decorations and Movie Night (December)
    Senior Outings, like Bowling and Ice Skating at Millennium Park
    Senior Lock In
    Senior Prom
    Senior Awards Ceremony
    Senior Luncheon

  •  

                       I got a schedule change today.

    1st Period: Advanced Graphic Communications- Mr. Muhr                                                                           

    2nd Period: Advanced Graphic Communications- Mr. Muhr        

    Period 3- General Music- Mendoza

    Period 4-Art- Mrs. Mark

    Period 5- A.P. Spanish-????

    Period 6- H. Sociology-Mr. Altman

    Period 7- World Lit.- Mittleman

    Period 8-Lunch

     

    Edit: Kharma is a bitch

  •                    I need to make some changes and sever some ties. I got to stop being so pessimistic, This is an epitaph for my Pessimism "Until never"

    The Black Dahlia Murder- Closed casket Requiem

    dear diary, tonight will be our last
    my hands are itching for razors
    my angel, this knife shall carve thee wings
    consumed by sickness, I ache to see your blood
    the hour approaches when i shall lay a nest inside of you

    sliced open I lay waste to my desires
    sweet entrails are scooped onto the tile

    and in my dreams I hold your head beneath the waves
    after you've died, I kiss the nape of your porcelain neck
    you enter me in death's perpetual embrace
    skin tightens in the throes of lust

    and in my dreams I cut your mouth from ear to ear
    dissecting your angelic body in the quiet of your room
    how splendidly I carve into your tender heart
    shuddering between the sheets

    for weeks i've watched you, perched above your sleeping form
    as I caress your perfection
    my angel, I'll tear your insides out
    my mind is flooding, the marrow of your bones
    I cannot subside 'til I have suckled every inch of you

    your features now glazed in your own blood
    my fingers find home amongst your guts

    and in my dreams I hold your head beneath the waves
    after you've died, I kiss the nape of your porcelain neck
    you enter me in death's perpetual embrace
    skin tightens in the throes of lust

    and in my dreams I cut your mouth from ear to ear
    dissecting your angelic body in the quiet of your room
    how splendidly I carve into your tender heart
    shuddering between the sheets

    whisper your name as you awaken your throat gasps, your skin recoils
    we shall be intertwined, entangled in our love
    murder beckons as time stops with your voice

    "i'll love you forever" -- and forever it shall be
    the knives begin singing, they're weeping for your flesh

    the pinnacle of obsession is clawing at the fibers of my mind
    the rampant state of elation is heightened by the paleness of your cries
    with a promise of absolution, my thoughts are tangled in my creations
    with a promise of unequaled pleasure, reason is twisting
    the knives are crooning for this perfect end

    for weeks i've watched you, perched above your sleeping form
    as I caress your perfection
    my angel, i'll tear your insides out
    my mind is flooding, the marrow of your bones
    I cannot subside 'til i have suckled every inch of you

    I feel the fibers stretch and tear
    unbridled climax is achieved
    i've waited so long for this moment
    the euphoric act of suicide -- suicide!

  •  EDIT: date edited 9/5/07 reason for editing: This entry was originally kept private but I decided to open it up

                          Dear Erik, What the fuck happened to you?

     

                                I've been spending alot of time in solitude thinking.. seriously thinking.  I go over the things that have happened to me these past 4 years. Something happened that changed me and I can't quite pinpoint it. Molded into something new temporarily then went back to bieng myself. I think I actually enjoyed not bieng so sour and having such animosity for the world, I always had a middle finger raised against crosses and churches. The world was a fucked up place then and now the difference was I never let it get to me before. The world came crashing down on me and I said "fuck you" today is mine and you can't fuck with what's mine. Such a carefree attitude and such immaturity. Never worried about the future lived life day by day and I was content. What happened to the kid you would ask to go flick some random person off ? and he would do it and even speak more. Such spontaneity I saw in him where did it come from? Where did it go? Living .. growing up..life in general, all have changed me for what I believe to be the worst. Consequences caught up to me.. Kharma came full circle to destroy me...This Universe went from bieng a kind friend to a backstabbing prick. The world was full of shit and somehow I managed to see the silver lining in it all. All I see now is the negative. I learned to see everyone as a potential friend. And now everyone's a potential enemy. I never cared what the world thought and somewhere  along the lines I lost that ability. No matter how much you try to dignify your fall it will never work unless you truly accept it yourself. I'll leave you with my last few words "You sold the fuck out".

                                                                                                      Sincerely,

                                                                                                       Your former self.

    Zao - Dreams That Won't Come True

    I tried again, I fell again
    To find out for myself
    It hurts
    For a lifetime
    Your picture rests there for a lifetime
    And for a lifetime i will dream of you
    I prepare the mantle inside of my heart
    With your photograph to sooth the scars
    Unable to be erased unable to be forgotten
    As i grow older
    I will dream

  •  

                            Fuck man yesterday's show was so fucking fun The first 3 bands were some band from Iowa, Maylene & the Sons of Disaster,Evergreen Terrace all of which didn't impress me much. Then Zao took the stage Fucken crowd was gay no mosh no hardcore dancing nothing most they got was headbanging because they wanted them to play old shit, and they're mostly promoting their new album, fuck those kids Zao did an awesome fucking job. Throwdown got on and they tore that shit up alot of hardcore dancing for them, man Dave's my  idol. . Oh and I got a Throwdown shirt. I could barely speak and my hearing was kinda off after the show plus my back was killing me it felt good to sleep.

  •  

                                   Tommorows the show I'm excited.  Cut my hair today  Don't you just love it when people don't listen to you. I told my dad to use No.3 all over instead he used 3 on top and 1 on the sides and bottom, It looks like im going to war all army like and shit blah it sucks w/e it'll grow back.

     

                     xxx

     

  •               Blah, school was boring..                                                 

    1st Period: Advanced Graphic Communications- Mr. Muhr                                                                           

    2nd Period: Advanced Graphic Communications- Mr. Muhr        

    3rd Period: Art- Mrs. Lopez

    4th period: A.P. English Language and Composition- Mr. Duval

    5th period: A.P. Spanish 4- Mr. Meyers

    6th Period:  H. Sociology- Mr. Altman

    7th Period- General Music- Mr. Mendoza

    8th Period- Lunch- So I can leave right after 7th.

     

    I don't know I kind of want to get  out of A.P. english and just take regulars.

  •                            Ah what a great fucking birthday present, guitar hero owns. Man I'm seeing alot of fucking people change before my eyes some for the better and some for the worse... and  yet some are selling out. It's useless to hold on to the past, It's such a bad habit of mine but slowly I'm starting to overcome it. I won't make the same mistakes again.