Lately I just feel like shit. fuck man I need to go outside and get some air. Fuck that I'm leaving after I write this, I should go skateboard.  ah I can't wait .. later fuckers. write in here later.

There
was a time in the early '80s when a kid wearing an Iron Maiden shirt
would get his ass kicked if he stepped foot into a Black Flag concert.
Sadly, the hardcore vs. metal war waged for years, long after members
of each genre began expressing admiration for one another's music. It
took crossover groups like North Carolina's Corrosion of Conformity,
Houston's D.R.I. and New York's Agnostic Front to hammer some sense
into audience's heads and create a bridge for the two styles to
coexist.

Then, for a while, there was a peacefully aggressive union between hardcore and metal. That's around the time Throwdown
frontman Dave Peters began discovering heavy music, as he explains in
his articulate and convincing guest blog. Sadly, as Peters says, the
metal scene itself has since splintered into a dozen or so subgenres,
and there seems to be a growing dissent and intolerance within the
ranks of each. So, heed his wise words. Metal is already an outsider's
genre, and there needs to be as much support and harmony as possible to
keep it thriving outside of the mainstream. But maybe it sounds more
convincing coming from Dave:

There's something that's been
getting under my skin more and more lately. Let me start by saying that
when I was ten years old I got into Metallica. Following Metallica was
Sepultura, Pantera and eventually Slayer. In 1992, I heard my first
song from a local Orange County hardcore band that my friend's older
brother played in called Function. The same kids that showed me the
demo tape (yeah an actual tape; Wikipedia it, if you don't know what
I'm talking about) let me borrow their Unbroken tape as well. I kept
saying to them that both bands "sound like Pantera without the solos! I
love it!" They thought that was funny, but hey it was true enough.

When
I went to my first Unbroken show, I was shocked that it wasn't in an
arena or huge theater. I mean, surely if a band were putting out their
own tape they must be huge, right? The show ended up being just down
the road across the street from the worst mall in California at this
place called Olde World Village. They held Oktoberfest there each year,
whereupon they hosted a bratwurst cook-off and a wiener dog race too.
Both pretty awesome for obvious reasons.

At any rate, the point
of my little story is that I found this whole new planet of music that
I could afford to see live and that had a similar vibe to the stuff I
already listened to at home. I still see it happening that same way
today (both ways) and it makes me excited 'cause it takes me back to my
own childhood. Something else I see, though, doesn't make me so excited.

When I went to that Unbroken show, I didn't even think about whether or not I was supposed to be there with my Maiden shirt or whether or not the dude in the Mouthpiece shirt was supposed to say he liked my shirt when he let me cut in line with him. I knew what I liked and I went where it was. There weren't rules about what I was supposed or allowed to like, or if there were I wasn't aware or paying attention to them. I didn't think about that then and I still don't today.

I
might be way off base, but I think musical genres were created just to
make it a little easier for people to describe a band or artist to
someone else – simple tools for reference/comparison purposes. But when
the hell did they become these forbidding lines in the sand that people
dare not cross? Especially when the genres/sub-genres in question are
only slightly different versions of one another to the point that the
untrained ear couldn't tell the difference anyway.

I don't
expect Iron Maiden fans to get down with Jay-Z. I don't expect George
Strait fans to get into Cannibal Corpse. And I know it's often a
stretch for fans of aforementioned artists to even understand one another's styles (let alone their fans). But how the f— can someone tell me, for example, they love Hatebreed but hate
Slayer? Sure the lyrical content and haircuts are different, but we're
not talking Whitney Houston and Skrewdriver for f— sake. They're both
great bands that are great for some of the same reasons.

Now,
I'm not saying that every Slayer fan should love Hatebreed and vice
versa (And I'm just using those two bands as an example 'cause I like
'em both and they've toured together). I'm just saying if you are into
one's music and "f—in' hate" the other's then you've got your head
pushed so far up your ass, I'm surprised you can hear either of even if you're standing right in front of the PA.

Maybe
it's because I'm a little older now and I'm seeing things I didn't
before, but it seems like people try way too damn hard now to fit into
these imaginary molds that were never actually created but are just —
there.

If you listen to Motörhead, you have to grow a handlebar
mustache and tie a flannel around your waist. If you listen to Terror,
you wear mesh shorts and a flat brim hat tilted to the side. If you
listen to Children Of Bodom, you need long black hair and you play the
card game Magic: The Gathering. Jesus H. Christ. I mean, I know there
aren't people out there saying this to other people that are
finding these bands for the first time, but there are these general and
absurd stereotypes for sub-genres that aren't that f—in' different – At least, Not different enough to fuss over trivial bullsh–.

And,
while I love and hold in the highest regard "lifestyle bands"(as my
friend and I refer to them): bands that embody something bigger than just music, you still have to come back to the fact that what these bands actually do before anything else is make music.

Heavy
music — metal, hardcore, grindcore, death metal, black metal, thrash
metal, post-hardcore, metalcore, power metal, speed metal, etc… —
collectively, is still just a drop in the bucket in a vast ocean of
music. And that's something that real fans of heavy music are and
should be proud of. It's a great feeling to be a part of
something special that the majority of the world, listening to whatever
the radio is force-feeding that month, has no f—in' clue about and
can't/will never understand. Hell, that's a huge part of what
it all means to us. F— casual music fans. I don't have time for them. I
live and breathe music. It never let me down and put a roof over my
head. So I want to be around people who appreciate it (in their own
unique way) as much as I do. But how far do we go? How many sub-genres
deep does it really need to go? How cliquey must it get 'til it ceases
to be about the music itself and becomes just about the fashion and
less important fodder surrounding it.

I'm not gonna throw the
Rodney King quote at you as a punch line 'cause I don't give a shit if
we all get along. Sure, it'd be nice, but that's not how it is. All I'm
challenging fans of heavy music to do — young or old y– is be honest
with themselves. That's what makes the music effective and dangerous –
the honesty. Listen to what sounds good to you. Don't question who is
in the band, what country they're from, how young or old they are,
whether there is a chick in the band, whether too many people know
about them, what record label they're on, and certainly not what
goddamn genre they're in. Just decide whether or not you like
what you hear first, then worry about whether or not you'll look cool
in their t-shirt.

I had a variety of directions I could go for my music when I was a kid and I have way more today. What brought me here
and what always brings me back is the energy and the honesty in it. If
you lose the first, you have the watered down radio acts that cite
heavy bands as influences because they are starved for cred and are
about as real and dangerous as a room full of stuffed animals. If you
lose the second — well, you don't have even a trace of what makes heavy
music important.

Think about that next time you're at a show
trying your hardest to be different from the guy standing next to you —
the guy who is there for the same reason you are.

                    Let's all seek guidance for ourselves, crooked advice, corruption, nothing is what it seems anymore. I used to think certain things were put into implementation to look out for us but that changed a while back and even now. Fuck I don't know what to believe anymore, if what i learned is true there are certain corporations that are stronger than the constitution, we're fucked and we don't even know it. I feel like we have to take back what's ours.. truthful information, freedom... the real kind not the bull shit we're lead to believe we possess. We live pretty decent lives but we don't know the horrors that are being committed against many of us. Yes we have rights but many people aren't even aware of half of them or what they encompass, this leaves room for the distortion and silent restriction of our rights. I hate it when people  are apathetic when you try to enlighten them about some of the shit that's going on, they say " fuck that this has nothing to do with me besides no one cares and theres nothing you can do even if it was true." Its sad but there's a systematic degeneration of the people by the people and for the people. Call me a heretic.. call me what you will.

              Look down. Her head is resting on your chest her stare is full of depth and wonder think back to yesterday. repeating over and over she just needed a friend. she's dancing inside your mind. you can't look at her because she reminds you of all your failures. A dark corridor of your mind that you'd never hope to revisit. I will overcome what you made me, it never is so. A pretty face overwhelms your self control, the present and past slowly intertwine. Is she all you'd hope she'd be? no. That's ok she'll have to do. fuck loyalty kill or be killed. the one in your mind wonders why she can never find a decent guy and you think back to the days when you would hold her hand unbeknown to you she held the hand of another. Hope for change, your better than this right? Still the Sow wonders why her feed is tainted when she is the cause.

                Damn I'm glad to be back in Chicago, Vacations were alright but the countryside is too calm for me.Recap: We went to Georgia to visit a cousin of my Dad( him and his family were Jehovah's Witnesses.... )
Which was weird but w/e. It was ok over there alot of confederate flags
and southern accents lol. On the way back we went to St. Louis and then
Springfield.

Edit: I have cousins I never even knew existed it's  weird.

                 I'm probably going on vacation soon for about a week or two, So I probably won't write in here for a while. Let's see nothing new really.

• Eat some babies
• Find A Job after vacation
• Skateboard
• Shows?