October 8, 2006

  •  EDIT: date edited 9/5/07 reason for editing: This entry was originally kept private but I decided to open it up because I know that my anger was kind of foolish at one point I felt that way.

                                       Man some people unnerve me so.. I try hard not to despise you but it's extremely hard when you continue to fuel my anger. You talk alot and most of it is unproductive shit spewing from your mouth you're one of the worst complainers ever. And your as immature as a fucking 7 year old which is appalling since your a grown adult. You want the last word don't you? Does it make you feel powerful? Your fucking full of yourself. You consider yourself very religious don't you? A Catholic of all things right? And yet you judge others and point fingers fucken hypocrite.Oh but I forgot all you Catholics are that way. You tried to pass your pathetic religion onto me just because you didn't want others to gasp at the thought of your son not bieng communed. Well you made me go through that stupid class which by the way "HAD TO BE ONE'S OWN CHOICE" Because correct me If I'm wrong but religion is something you choose. It wasn't my fucken choice you paid 90 dollars for me and 90 dollars for my sister to get a piece of shit paper that says we recieved communion which according to you Is the only way we can get married in a church. What if I don't want to get married in a church? what if I don't want to get married period? Did you ever stop to think or even ask me If I wanted to do this? No! I wonder how this looks in your God's eyes. And then you left all the work to my mom she had to drive us to and fro that place every single saturday and sunday and what did you do? nothing sat on your ass and said "hey I did my religious duty". And you want to know the funny thing? Me and my sister were the best students in that fucken class It's such a shame we made our teacher believe that and now look where I stand on religion, you're stupid as fuck for wasting 180 dollars. When I was young you tried to instill in me "work ethic".. why?? I was 9 years old I shouldn't of had to deal with work at that age I should've been enjoying my childhood every chance I could.  And i did play but as soon as I would start as quickly you would come to deprive me of it and make me do menial work hah work if you call standing around watching you do things and occasionally pass you something work. I bet you were just fucking bitter because you had to work at such a young age. Every word you say even your presence makes me cringe I can't stand spending time with you. And you have the fucken audacity to tell me I'm ungrateful every time I help you you fucken yell at me for not doing something your way.You're the one who should be grateful of my help that's why its called help. You get mad and use my rebeliousness as blackmail . let me quote you " You want me to do everything for you well remember this next time you need something like a ride somewhere downtown I'll let you get fucken lost walking there by yourself." And I'll bet you'll use this blackmail for things I need like money for school or things you as a parent are obligated to provide for me like you've tried to in the past. Let me tell you something I didn't fucken ask to be brought here ok? that's one thing I want you to grasp completely. You're one of the many reasons I don't want kids. I never want to be like you and there's alot of people who say they'll treat their kids differently but it always turns out the same and I'm sure you've said that. Well I'm not about to fucken bring a kid into this world and make your mistakes. You fucken disgust me you care way too much what people think about you so much that you pretend that me and you have a close relationship in front of your friends or family ... you'll put your arm around me and ask how my day has been and  I fantasize about severing your fucking arm. Dad I have to kill you today... don't worry I'll try to glorify your death as much as I can for your friends and family because I know your self-absorbed corpse would want it that way.

     

    You wan't my respect? Well I'm sorry to say I only give respect where it's due.